October Column ...Ooh, la la...those Cirque Twins

Dolls, the Atherton twins from the UK are two of the headliners
on aerial straps
in the new Cirque du Soleil's Iris.  
I accompanied Don opening night and was happy just to see them standing still on stage, barechested in those cute little Roman war helmuts. Be still my heart!
Ay, que ricos! Let alone what ultra-skilled gymnasts they both are! Iris is miraculous, Hollywood's very own Cirque du Soleil. You have plenty of time to see it, as it's a permanent show for the Kodak Theatre, but you know how fast tix to shows sell around holiday time, so book early!

And what's this I hear about Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith in a recent interview? He doesn't go to drug therapy with her, because the problem didn't run in his family and he doesn't understand? Dolls, this is serious. Get your hubbie to accompany you to these meetings! Don't want to see divorce around the corner for these two, but Dona's hunches tell her something's amiss here! Hate it when I'm right, always such disastrous things occur. Ooowioo!

On a happier note three friends are performing live this week.
Firstly, Patti LuPone will be at Royce Hall, UCLA for one night only Tuesday October 4 with Gypsy in My Soul. She sings better than anyone, including moi! Then if you're in Chi Town this weekend Alexandra Billings is bringing her Katie's Corner to life there for 2 nights only. Anything can happen when she cuts loose on stage as Katie Hepburn. She'll climb a tree, slay a dragon...you name it! And there are always special guests with arts and crafts. Arts and ...what? That's right! Remember Katie's over 100 now, so these little measly things keep her happy!
Here's the address: Stage 773    1225 W. Belmont  Chicago, IL October 7 and 8 only!
 And then, if you're in Vegas, Jeff Trachta is opening for Liza - Minnelli, that is-who else? at the Las Vegas Hilton October 7 and 8 in a brand new show with over 100 characters. He's the best with impersonations! His George Burns had me rolling, so did his theme song from All in the Family as Edith Bunker. Jeff brings the stage to life with his multi-media split-screens and onstage antics! Don't miss him, and if you stop back to say hello to him, give him a big mwah from Dona and a hug from Don!

I leave you with a look at Antonio Banderas at 50. Could he look any better? Now get out and go to therapy with your wife, you little Spanish twit! Ay, caramba! Dios mio! The family that stays together goes to therapy together: that's Dona's prayer for October, dollcakes!
lol

No one could ever possibly replace Antonio Banderas, but...Rod just sent me a new shot from the road and Sound of Music. Of course, he doesn't look like this onstage, but I thought you might like to take a look behind the scenes.

September column - It's Good to be Home

After  a short but fulfilling summer tour, I'm back home again in LA. Yeah! It's good to be home. "Home" - I feel like Diana Ross and singing a chorus from The Wiz! but...I won't! Let me say, dollcakes, doing a night club act is not as easy as it used to be. These old legs of mine got some working out this summer, let me tell you! Youthful looking, yes! Youthful feeling?...get out of here! But the ride's been fun, thank you one and all for coming out and supporting me, and now it's time to be a gossip diva once more!

This stud (above) - Rod - was one of my dancing boys in the show and he is doing a bus and truck tour this fall of Sound of Music, playing Captain Von Trapp. He'll give the discipline thing a whole new meaning! He'll whip those kids into shape!
Seriously folks, I understand that Patti Lupone will be doing Gypsy in My Soul at Royce Hall, UCLA as a benefit for Reprise Theatre Company on October 4. Bless her! She flies around this country doing concerts with the energy of Wonder Woman. I wish I knew her secret. I'm tired after my spin and want to kick back and write for a few months. Do you believe Barbra has a new album of Bergman songs What Matters Most and still sounds fabulous! Right on, Babs! Her sister Ros Kind will be back at Catalina Jazz Club in October. She sings so well! On the movie scene, I understand The Help will be nominated for a slew of awards this year. Can't wait to see it! Viola Davis sure won my heart for her solid performance in Doubt a few years back, so I'm sure she's just great in The Help. And Cher will be making a rare appearance soon on TCM as Robert Osborne's guest hostess when she picks her favorite movies. Based on a preview I saw, she still looks unbelievable! To be honest, dolls, I'm in the Betty White camp. No plastic surgery pour moi! I'll just keep on my diet - now there's a laugh and a half - well, I'll watch videos of me performing this summer, and if that doesn't work to make me want to stay in Jane Fonda shape, I'll start doing the treadmill and ballet every day!
Lots of goodies to report on in October, so stay tuned!
Hasta!
dona
lol

PS If I look aghast, look what a fan sent me below! He thought I'd look cuter as a man! Eek! How do I take this?
I'll just laugh my fool head off!

Dona's Last Stand

Dolls, this is the final weekend for my show - the last time I will sing "We Need a Little Christmas" for a while and play with my ball ...Santa's ball, that is! Will miss the fun of this summer on the road, as I head back to LA and work. Those of you who came out to see me on the Cape and in NJ, love 'ya and all your support!
New juicy September column next week when I return!
Hasta!

Stars, Starry, Starry Stars...Look Who Came the Other Night

Look serious enough? Matt Damon, a truly fine actor, came to see the show the other night, and when I caught him smiling out of the corner of my eye during the tranny sketch, I swear he saw me and his face turned sober in a flash. Well, no congrats, backstage visits or signs of enjoying it, but I've heard it rumored - at least from Ernestina - that he might play a transvestite or drag queen in a new film and he's checking out local color. Am I colorful enough, do you think, dolls?

August Column - Monday Show July 25 in Atlantic City ... Big Surprise

My column this month runs purely personal, but I hope you will enjoy it!
Well...they talked me into doing a Monday night show as well as Friday, Saturday and Sunday last weekend. They said I would attract New York celebrities whose shows are dark on Monday...and of course it would be good for business. Mine or theirs?? Well, anyway, whoopee sh-t, much to my surprise...on the red carpet lo and behold little Harry.. I mean J. Pierpont F...I mean sweet Daniel Radcliffe... came to see ... moi!

How do you like my new poster with me wearing my Christmas hat? Isn't it cute? Anyway, my assistant Ernie ... I call him Ernestina because his hair falls into little spitcurl bangs all over his forehead...came rushing back to the dressing room 10 minutes before curtain and could hardly speak, he was so friggin' excited. Har...hair...hairy...HAIRY "I know you're hairy! Spit it out, Ernestina! Don't hold it in; you'll get gas! If anything happens to you, I cannot afford medical insurance for you...not on this salary!"
"It's little Harry Potter come to see you. What's his real name?" he sputtered, practically giving me a bath with his spraying saliva.

"Daniel Radcliffe ... what? Daniel Radcliffe here at my show?" Holy crap! What should I cut? Do I do all the smut or do I cut out the four letter words? What about the transgender sketch? ...Wait a minute, he's not a kid anymore. He's a big Broadway star, who's been naked on stage in Equus and now he's dancing and singing his tush off and wooing babes in How To Succeed...I bet he loves dirt. Anyway, dolls, to make an hour long anecdote short and to the point, I did the show as I have been doing it, with every bit of camp, triple X language and sensuality that the audience have been just slurping up. I heard this little laugh from the table down front when I bent over and put my face between my legs in "Happy Birthday, Mr. President"...I looked and looked from side to side and then back to front...and finally I saw this tiny, tiny person in a baseball cap...I swear his chin was on the table...at first I thought he was one of the stangehands' tykes, then a midget...no, it was Daniel Radcliffe and he was in hysterics - little curt laughs but a lot of them in rapid fire succession like a machine gun spitting! I caught him laughing and consistently smiling for the rest of the show. Our eyes met at one point, and I swear he blushed, red as a beet! He even stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I swear to you...he stood up on the chair so I would see him clapping! I waited and waited in the dressing room for him to come back...but he never did. After about 15 minutes, Ernestina went out for a second to use the restroom - I never let HIM pee in my latrine... I mean, puleeze...must stay germ and virus free. He made a speedy return with a vase filled with the prettiest lavendar flowers I have ever seen. When I asked Ernestina who had given them to him, he was speechless and handed me the card. It read: 

Dearest Diva Dona,

You are utterly smashing and intoxicating. This is my first excursion to Atlantic City since I have been in New York and I am overjoyed to have seen your curious extravaganza. It's delicious, as are you.

all my love,

Daniel 

Lavendar? mmm...Interesting choice! I've heard he's completely straight! I wonder why he came here alone?
You can't imagine the number of times I have read and reread that note trying to imagine his adorable English accent on every syllable. Tuesday I sent roses to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre where he's performing. My card read simply:

Thank you my darling Daniel. Can't wait to see you on stage.

lol

Dona


The next day an envelope arrived with two free tickets to the matinee this Saturday August 6 to How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. I will go into New York and can't wait to see my little Brit prince. Excuse me dolls, I'm weeping...he brings out the mommala in me. I will not take Ernestina with me...puleeze, she's too ... embarrassing ...  like Butterfly McQueen!

Will be back in September and I promise more celebrity dish. In the meantime, if you're in Atlantic City, catch my show through this month -  I'm extended til August 29 - at Tropicana Casino and Resort on the Boardwalk - yes, Mondays, as well as Fridays - Sundays at 8: 30 pm

On the Road Again...

Sweet show biz and the road! Am I too old for this? Never. It's sheer joy. I'm in Atlantic City for two weekends and will do my August column from here.
Happy rest of July, dolls! And here's a little Christmas in July from my show...Oh We Need a Little Christmas, right this very minute, candles in the window, carols @...well, you get the idea!! Always wanted to be Mame! Been an auntie many a time, but never Mame!
dona
xo

July Interview with Yanni Deep

Dollcakes, what a Fourth of July weekend this has been! Thrown in the pokey on a DUI! These fireworks I could have lived without! I have to be honest: I had a little too much to drink at the party at PJs after what seemed a fabulous performance - audiences loved it!
Don, of course, bailed me out, but it's too much embarrassment and humiliation for a true Diva to endure! Never, never say that Diva Dona is a liar. No siree, I am brutally honest, to the core. My Sunday show was of course cancelled due to my absence - we did think about recording a song from my cell, but these Mass police are something else; hard to believe gay marriage passed in this Puritanical state. The merriment continues as we are en route to New Jersey for more fun stuff. Stay tuned!
As promised, below is my interview with my hot dancer, handsome male stripper Yanni Deep. Enjoy!

So Yanni, what's it like dancing behind moi, instead of your usual stripping gigs?

Dona, it's a pleasure doing anything behind you, in front of you, you name it, baby! You're the greatest! Oh, and thanks for believing in me!

You're welcome! You're so hot! Audiences love you! Now, stop avoiding answering my question. Everybody wants to know about male stripping and what it does or doesn't do for you.

I'm on a high when I strip. I mean...women or guys, as the case may be...pay good money to see me take off my clothes, and I don't dare disappoint them. I workout every day for 3 hours, watch my diet, and enjoy every minute of my time onstage. It's basically the same dancing in your show, except I'm in the background, I provide the color of the scene whereas you're the scene. I like ensemble work...it takes everyone to make something good, not just one, but if any one stands out, Dona Dearest, it's you.

I didn't give him that raise for nothing Such a sweet boy! Tell me about how you got into stripping.

You probably won't believe this, but I started my own dance act in the privacy of my own bedroom. I used to practice as a teenager. One night I got a call from a neighbor telling me to pull down my shades...that she could see right into my bedroom and what I was doing was driving her wild. She ended up being my first...woman, that is...I was only 15...and she got me into her husband's club dancing once a week.

So you started dancing for women, not men.

Yeah, and I've always found women more appreciative than men, especially with tipping. Men are cheap, but if you give 'em enuf, women will dish out plenty! Yippeee!

When did stripping in gay clubs begin for you?

In my late 20s, a big shot got me out of some drug problems, groomed me, made me a hustler, and the rest became history, so to speak. It's been men ever since. But, I gotta tell 'ya, I miss the women. And, in your show, the women are again playing a huge part in making me feel important. I mean, I can't believe women love your show. Actually more broads do than queens. They love your makeup and your costumes. Ha ha! So far I've gotten two offers of work from women attending your show.

Doing what? Stripping?

(in his best tough voice) Somethin' wrong with strippin'?

(laughs)

Didn't think I knew about Gypsy and Broadway, did ya'?

Oh you're full of surprises, Yanni...one right after the other!

As a matter of fact, this manager lady I met told me I should dance on Broadway...and I might take her up on that.

Honey, no offense, but I think you're a little too old for the chorus!

Chorus! What about the lead? You're never too old...you should know, Dona Dearest!

Smart cookie, that Yanni Deep, too smart for his own britches...and we will not get into where he got his name...it's too obscene for publication. Catch him in my show...while he's there! He may not be here much longer, if you catch my drift!!!

Enjoy the July heat!