Well...they talked me into doing a Monday night show as well as Friday, Saturday and Sunday last weekend. They said I would attract New York celebrities whose shows are dark on Monday...and of course it would be good for business. Mine or theirs?? Well, anyway, whoopee sh-t, much to my surprise...on the red carpet lo and behold little Harry.. I mean J. Pierpont F...I mean sweet Daniel Radcliffe... came to see ... moi!
How do you like my new poster with me wearing my Christmas hat? Isn't it cute? Anyway, my assistant Ernie ... I call him Ernestina because his hair falls into little spitcurl bangs all over his forehead...came rushing back to the dressing room 10 minutes before curtain and could hardly speak, he was so friggin' excited. Har...hair...hairy...HAIRY "I know you're hairy! Spit it out, Ernestina! Don't hold it in; you'll get gas! If anything happens to you, I cannot afford medical insurance for you...not on this salary!"
"It's little Harry Potter come to see you. What's his real name?" he sputtered, practically giving me a bath with his spraying saliva.
"It's little Harry Potter come to see you. What's his real name?" he sputtered, practically giving me a bath with his spraying saliva.
"Daniel Radcliffe ... what? Daniel Radcliffe here at my show?" Holy crap! What should I cut? Do I do all the smut or do I cut out the four letter words? What about the transgender sketch? ...Wait a minute, he's not a kid anymore. He's a big Broadway star, who's been naked on stage in Equus and now he's dancing and singing his tush off and wooing babes in How To Succeed...I bet he loves dirt. Anyway, dolls, to make an hour long anecdote short and to the point, I did the show as I have been doing it, with every bit of camp, triple X language and sensuality that the audience have been just slurping up. I heard this little laugh from the table down front when I bent over and put my face between my legs in "Happy Birthday, Mr. President"...I looked and looked from side to side and then back to front...and finally I saw this tiny, tiny person in a baseball cap...I swear his chin was on the table...at first I thought he was one of the stangehands' tykes, then a midget...no, it was Daniel Radcliffe and he was in hysterics - little curt laughs but a lot of them in rapid fire succession like a machine gun spitting! I caught him laughing and consistently smiling for the rest of the show. Our eyes met at one point, and I swear he blushed, red as a beet! He even stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I swear to you...he stood up on the chair so I would see him clapping! I waited and waited in the dressing room for him to come back...but he never did. After about 15 minutes, Ernestina went out for a second to use the restroom - I never let HIM pee in my latrine... I mean, puleeze...must stay germ and virus free. He made a speedy return with a vase filled with the prettiest lavendar flowers I have ever seen. When I asked Ernestina who had given them to him, he was speechless and handed me the card. It read:
Dearest Diva Dona,
You are utterly smashing and intoxicating. This is my first excursion to Atlantic City since I have been in New York and I am overjoyed to have seen your curious extravaganza. It's delicious, as are you.
all my love,
Daniel
Lavendar? mmm...Interesting choice! I've heard he's completely straight! I wonder why he came here alone?
You can't imagine the number of times I have read and reread that note trying to imagine his adorable English accent on every syllable. Tuesday I sent roses to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre where he's performing. My card read simply:
Thank you my darling Daniel. Can't wait to see you on stage.
lol
Dona
The next day an envelope arrived with two free tickets to the matinee this Saturday August 6 to How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. I will go into New York and can't wait to see my little Brit prince. Excuse me dolls, I'm weeping...he brings out the mommala in me. I will not take Ernestina with me...puleeze, she's too ... embarrassing ... like Butterfly McQueen!
The next day an envelope arrived with two free tickets to the matinee this Saturday August 6 to How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. I will go into New York and can't wait to see my little Brit prince. Excuse me dolls, I'm weeping...he brings out the mommala in me. I will not take Ernestina with me...puleeze, she's too ... embarrassing ... like Butterfly McQueen!
Will be back in September and I promise more celebrity dish. In the meantime, if you're in Atlantic City, catch my show through this month - I'm extended til August 29 - at Tropicana Casino and Resort on the Boardwalk - yes, Mondays, as well as Fridays - Sundays at 8: 30 pm
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