Saturday, May 21, 2011
Let me first of all tell you about the show, as so many have asked: "Diva Dona, what do you actually do on stage? Tell campy jokes?" "Dollcakes," I always reply, "I was an actress and have done an act in Europe." Yes, it's true, it's been a few years, but Don thought it was time to get out there and strut my stuff once more...so, in the new act I sing, dance - well, shit, un poquito - and get down and frisky with several comedic character sketches, written by the one and only Don Grigware." I do this faded Southern belle a la Blanche Du Bois named Beu Hubley. You know the type, had a million husbands, lovers and just can't settle for one even as she approaches middle-age. Well, Beu (pronounced b yoo) with fan in hand sings "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" and does a whole raucous monologue about the perils of growing old without love, that special TLC that every woman craves and must have, regardless of age. The audience just loved it! I also do a kind of newly changed tranny named Dodo who just hasn't quite found it yet. She's awkward - with some male hormones still raging - and bursts into song with "My Life". I know, I know, only Shirley Bassey can really do this one well, but give me credit for trying... and then there's my favorite impression in the show, MM - that's a jazzed up Mary Martin - singing Happy Birthday, Mr. President! (the photo is above left) Boy, that body spa works wonders especially those mud wraps. They sure as hell smell like shit, but look at me, dolls, I look 30 years younger! In case you're wondering I'm staring incredulously at a young stud at a front row table who was whistling at me. Yeaah!! If that didn't stimulate an old broad to go on and give it my all, nothing would. I mean there's always backstage after the show. And there was!!! Dolls, the possibilities are endless - and were, if you get my drift.
Surely, I tease. Those of you that know me are aware of just how demure I really am.
Anyway, now you know what I do in the show, so let's talk about opening night, May 10. When they told me who was there, I was verklempt. I mean Johnny Depp there to see me, little Dona! And...oh, my heart...George...C.. C... C ... Clooney... can you believe it? Rosemary's nephew...oy, I'm spritzing from the very thought of it! Both came back to congratulate me, separately, of course! Neither can afford to ruin his image with any tell tale gossip about two male movie idols possibly being together. I mean George and Johnny, a....Naaaah! Below enjoy the red carpet arrival photos of both! Johnny was so sweet and complimentary; loved Dodo and even suggested that it might make a curious film. OMG! Did he mean for him or for me? Hmmmmm, you can never trust these movie stars. They see it and then they steal it. Oh, I'll just have to trust dear Johnny. He gave me his card and asked me to call him in Paris. Ooh la la! George, on the other hand, was very guarded, rather cold at first and then suddenly jarring with his one comment. He looked me straight in the eye and asked if it was really necessary to sing "C'mon a My House" as an encore. Was he telling me I should leave it out? Wouldn't Rosemary Clooney be honored to know it was a loving tribute to her? Well, my dears, I didn't quite know what to say. I mean, does that mean the Clooney clan hates me? He did kiss me on the cheek though as he left. I've refrained from washing that side of my face. He's really a stud!
Well, dolls, needless to say, the after party on opening night was ecstasy. The champagne was flowing, as well as the caviar, and even if George Clooney didn't stay to celebrate with me, it's OK. He came! What more can I expect? And I'm sorry, dear George, but "C'mon a My House" is staying in the show. Italians in the audience stood up and cheered ...NIGHTLY! One man even threw his jock strap on stage. OMG, I shouldn't have told you that! It's embarrassing. Here I am in middle-age getting the on stage attention of Tom Jones. It's amazing, surprising and every other emotion you can imagine.
As I mull over my decision to go on the road with the new act...here's to life, dolls and of course, to you!
I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Stay tuned for my column in June, when I will let you know every last detail. The last time I appeared there...well, a foreign dignitary...I refuse to divulge his name...threatened to blow up the joint unless my engagement was extended. Claimed he was in love with me. Oy! Certainly glad he's been forced out of existence! Let's have a peaceful week, if you please: Bally's May 10 - 15.