March Column: Special Report: Diva Dona Trashes the Oscars 2012

Do I play demure and keep my mouth shut or do I bellow and roar like a good Diva should? Billy Crystal - has-been or savior? Did he really SAVE the Oscar telecast or is it back to the drawing board for 2013? Perky Ellen Degeneres sure kept those commercials on a big budget but hopping! Best Actress winner Meryl Streep - an actress to savor or dismiss? Is this Oscar a polite way of saying: "No more, old broad! Get lost!" Gwyneth Paltrow & Robert Downey Jr. - a vision in white vs a washed-up loon: Nurse Ratched devours McMurphy at last?
Proceed, dollcakes ...  if you dare!

Oh, when all else fails, I really did find the telecast entertaining even though we no longer see those great big production numbers where people sang and danced...every time the camera panned the audience and George Clooney, who could resist that big genuine smile? And Meryl and Viola Davis embracing before Meryl's name was announced? Streep is so gracious she should be nicknamed Grace...young actresses can learn from the kind way she treats others...she's one in  a million! And I sincerely hope she will be up there a fourth time. I mean, if Kate Hepburn was - and she didn't even come and recognize the honor - then Streep certainly can do it too! Wait until August Osage County is filmed, her drug addicted mama will jump
right off the screen.
Well, back to the telecast...and what about this year's fashion? Michelle Williams was a petite angel in red, Gwyneth, as I mentioned already, a vision in white, even though she looked like she might have stepped out of a cloister for the evening...and what about that classy Penelope Cruz...and even J Lo's gown was quite arresting although her cleavage took first prize...if you've got it, dolls, flaunt it!
Billy Crystal can make anyone laugh, and I wouldn't mind seeing Whoopi back as Hostess, but only paired with Crystal! Who cares if he donned black face to play Sammy Davis Jr.? He's always done it...and hey, it's BC! And who ever said a comedian had to be politically correct?

The Artist is the best! Deserves every prize it won! Great movie - such originality - and that Jean Dujardin, a sexpot...I mean, my dears, could a more handsome man light up the silver screen? I thought I was watching Valentino...a real charmer! And ...  a dog lover to boot!
Until 2013...and I understand, they're exiting the Kodak...I mean The Hollywood/Highland Center ... Por que?
Stay tuned for more Hollywood madness!

Now here's a great ad campaign for next year's Oscars. If Ellen can win over her audience as a salesperson, why not my cute friend Jacques (below) selling ... men's undies? Too gay, you say? Darlings, Gay is in! Talk about ratings boosts!

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Remember to get down, dirty and Irish March 17!

February column - LUUUV Month

Let's start off this juicy LUV month with a basic definition of love by stating 
what love is NOT:
Possessiveness is not love

• Jealousy is not love
• Lust is not love
• Fear is not love
• Keeping people all to yourself is not love
• Expecting something from someone is not love   ...   Shucks, then what the f--- is love? Sure as hell puts a damper on those naughty dreams I had last night.     ---------------------------------------- Now this  Love poem offers food for thought:   If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine... Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you. - Courtney Kuchta - Another short food for thought poem is the following:

A sad farewell to another diva, Miss Whitney Houston, whose "I Will Always Love You" says it all...and she passed away during luv month. Godspeed! Diva Dolly Parton sure as hell will be wading in mula from the increased sales of this superhit. In case you didn't already know, Dolly wrote that song!

Dolls, love is such a beautiful thing, something that should inspire us all year long. Love is giving of oneself unconditionally. Think of your doggies and how they treat you! Of course, that selfish little me will joke about needs and lust and such, but deep down, you know I'm a wholesome gal at heart. I love my friends and all of you, my dear readers. Let's always stay true to one another!
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...but if you have a negative comment about moi ... keep it to yourself!
Until March when I get down and d---- and as Irish as all hell.

Listen Closely to Diva Dona: Love the One You're With

Don't you just love my Shirley MacLaine look?
Countdown to LUV day - just 20 heartbeats away!

January Blues

It's H2O, dolls, but I sure as hell wish it were gin or vodka.
Hang in there 'til luv month just 15 cocktails...I mean days away!

January Column - OMG, it's 2012!!!

Like all rising stars, I, Diva Dona, face new challenges at the onset of 2012.
Note to my adoring fans, I absolutely abhor resolutions, so if I'm facetious with the following life lessons put forth by a 90 year-old, find forgiveness for me in your hearts!

• Life isn't fair, but it's still good. (Who said this, Pollyanna?)
•  When in doubt, just take the next small step. (I like things big; I can only take giant steps. Does that mean I'm doomed?)
• Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think. (With this I'm in 100% agreement)
•  Pay off your credit cards every month.. (Quelle bore! Where's all the fun in living on the edge?)
• Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.  (Who in the hell thinks about retirement when you're 19?)
• When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. (Another agree. It has prevented me from sticking to any diet so far in my life!)
• Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. (How can I make peace with ex-husbands who were rotten, thieving bast....?)
• Take a deep breath It calms the mind. (Sit down and put your head between your legs too. It's a start!)
• Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. (Man oh man, this broad must have been independently wealthy!)
• Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. (Didn't I say this first?)
• The most important sex organ is the brain. (Even approaching old age, I have a hard time with that one!)
• When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. (Right on, all the way!)
• Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 
• Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 
• The best is yet to come...

Those last four belong in the Diva Dona hall of fame. Let's all hope for a happier, glorious 2012!

'Til February - luv month, keep smiling, dolls!

Dona Makes Some Resolutions for 2012 - God, how I hate that word!

OMG! Another year! Shall I commit to losing a few... pounds, that is? Making more moolah - well, dolls, that's always a good idea, but where and how???? A dear friend said, "Sell your b...!" Puleeze, who's in the market for a droopy drag!?
Back next week!
In the meantime, have a blessed and wild New Year's Eve! Do everything I wouldn't try! I mean, have fun...2012 may be our last! Do you believe these predictions?

Christmas Thoughts!

Let Dona brighten your Christmas day! Let Dona brighten any day, dolls!
Happy, happy!!!