Dona Responds

Well, Don, I never, EVER! I can't say a peep around here. Happy 1--th, so what? It was a joke, doll cakes! Fire Island, huh? Well, I'll take you up on it, my dear! And if I return - who knows, I just might find my niche there - we have a lot of reconciling to do if you expect me to pick up all the trash you've strewn around and write another column for you!
Hasta la vista, Donsie wansie!
Fire Island boytoys, hold on to your tushies, 'coz here comes Dona!

Dona to Fire Island

I've had enough of your insolence and divaishness, Dona! You're nothing but a humongous Mammala! I've had one beautiful mother; I don't need another! Off to Fire Island with you for the month of September! All expenses paid, on me!! To the Pines? Hell, no! Cherry Grove is more your style. You'll slay those low-class bohemians!

Don's Birthday Bash @ McCormick & Shmick's

Don let me wear his birthday streamers (right) after the party. Don't I look disgusting and cute?

Happy 1--th Birthday, Don Dahling and cheer up! Grab your cherries and lighten up! (top photo)

amore,

Dona

Pals help him pop those cherries!

Happy Birthday, Don!

con amore,

dona

Diva Donna Not Diva Dona

This is Diva Do-nn-a (Mills), not moi, Diva Do-n-a! Since we're both such raving beauties, people constantly mistake her for me and me for her. It goes without saying!

Ah, the price of glamour in Hollywood!

August Madness

Where are the DIAMONDS? Yes, my darlings, DIAMONDS are a girls's best friend and there WERE DIAMONDS on this bracelet when Prince Charming gave it to me, -- friggin years ago when I played Cinderella in a bus and truck tour of the R&H wannabe opus. Now it's just a BAUBBLE!

Well, it's my friend Don G's birthday on the 17th ... what to get him? He hates jewelry, so that's out. Maybe, See's chocolates: no! he's started another diet... Let's see how long this one lasts! Ha! I know ... I'll call mutual friends -what friends, you query? - and throw him a surprise party...Oh, that's right...after his 40th surprise BDAY party, he told me if I ever threw him another surprise party with a room full of strangers and tired old queens, he'd kill me. OMG, I know the perfect gift...I'll fly him over to the West End to see some shows this fall...if he will get his ass on a plane...can't believe he's scared of flying... or crashing, whatever the case may be...He's one helluva guy, even if he is one helluva royal pain in the rear.

Have a great August, my dears, cherish every baubble that you have, and if you find my DIAMONDS, send them on FEDEX...I will roast the asshole alive that abducted them from me!

Happy, happy!!

ps And, oh, puleeze stop writing and telling me how much I look like Don G! He only wishes he had the fabulous skin tone that I have. I have the skin of an 18 year-old. Don't you dare tell me to give it back, because I'm wrinkling the bejesus out of it!!!

Bye-bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've told Don a Hundred Times...

... To get out of the bushes and stop trying to do an impression of me! I know he needs a new 8 x 10, but this is ludicrous! No shrub enhances beauty, charm and grace - at least the natural kind to which I am accustomed.