The Chronicles of Columnist Diva Dona: diva dona dishes the biz

March Column: Special Report: Diva Dona Trashes the Oscars 2012

2012-02-27T09:57:00.007-08:00

Do I play demure and keep my mouth shut or do I bellow and roar like a good Diva should? Billy Crystal - has-been or savior? Did he really SAVE the Oscar telecast or is it back to the drawing board for 2013? Perky Ellen Degeneres sure kept those commercials on a big budget but hopping! Best Actress winner Meryl Streep - an actress to savor or dismiss? Is this Oscar a polite way of saying: "No more, old broad! Get lost!" Gwyneth Paltrow & Robert Downey Jr. - a vision in white vs a washed-up loon: Nurse Ratched devours McMurphy at last?
more later, dollcakes ... if you dare!

February column - LUUUV Month

2012-01-31T13:19:00.001-08:00

Let's start off this juicy LUV month with a basic definition of love by stating
what love is NOT:
Possessiveness is not love

Jealousy is not love
Lust is not love
Fear is not love
Keeping people all to yourself is not love
Expecting something from someone is not love ... Shucks, then what the f--- is love? Sure as hell puts a damper on those naughty dreams I had last night. ---------------------------------------- Now this Love poem offers food for thought: If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine... Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you. - Courtney Kuchta - Another short food for thought poem is the following:

A sad farewell to another diva, Miss Whitney Houston, whose "I Will Always Love You" says it all...and she passed away during luv month. Godspeed! Diva Dolly Parton sure as hell will be wading in mula from the increased sales of this superhit. In case you didn't already know, Dolly wrote that song!

Dolls, love is such a beautiful thing, something that should inspire us all year long. Love is giving of oneself unconditionally. Think of your doggies and how they treat you! Of course, that selfish little me will joke about needs and lust and such, but deep down, you know I'm a wholesome gal at heart. I love my friends and all of you, my dear readers. Let's always stay true to one another!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
...but if you have a negative comment about moi ... keep it to yourself!
Until March when I get down and d---- and as Irish as all hell.

Listen Closely to Diva Dona: Love the One You're With

2012-01-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

Don't you just love my Shirley MacLaine look?
Countdown to LUV day - just 20 heartbeats away!

January Blues

2012-01-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

It's H2O, dolls, but I sure as hell wish it were gin or vodka.
Hang in there 'til luv month just 15 cocktails...I mean days away!

January Column - OMG, it's 2012!!!

2012-01-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

Like all rising stars, I, Diva Dona, face new challenges at the onset of 2012.
Note to my adoring fans, I absolutely abhor resolutions, so if I'm facetious with the following life lessons put forth by a 90 year-old, find forgiveness for me in your hearts!

Life isn't fair, but it's still good. (Who said this, Pollyanna?)
When in doubt, just take the next small step. (I like things big; I can only take giant steps. Does that mean I'm doomed?)
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think. (With this I'm in 100% agreement)
Pay off your credit cards every month.. (Quelle bore! Where's all the fun in living on the edge?)
Save for retirement starting with your first pay check. (Who in the hell thinks about retirement when you're 19?)
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. (Another agree. It has prevented me from sticking to any diet so far in my life!)
Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. (How can I make peace with ex-husbands who were rotten, thieving bast....?)
Take a deep breath It calms the mind. (Sit down and put your head between your legs too. It's a start!)
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. (Man oh man, this broad must have been independently wealthy!)
Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. (Didn't I say this first?)
The most important sex organ is the brain. (Even approaching old age, I have a hard time with that one!)
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. (Right on, all the way!)
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
The best is yet to come...

Those last four belong in the Diva Dona hall of fame. Let's all hope for a happier, glorious 2012!

'Til February - luv month, keep smiling, dolls!

Dona Makes Some Resolutions for 2012 - God, how I hate that word!

2011-12-31T10:05:00.000-08:00

OMG! Another year! Shall I commit to losing a few... pounds, that is? Making more moolah - well, dolls, that's always a good idea, but where and how???? A dear friend said, "Sell your b...!" Puleeze, who's in the market for a droopy drag!?
Back next week!
In the meantime, have a blessed and wild New Year's Eve! Do everything I wouldn't try! I mean, have fun...2012 may be our last! Do you believe these predictions?

Christmas Thoughts!

2011-12-22T12:03:00.000-08:00

Let Dona brighten your Christmas day! Let Dona brighten any day, dolls!
Happy, happy!!!

December Column - Being in Drag Is NEVER a Drag!

2011-11-27T11:00:00.000-08:00

Well...most of the time, dolls! Today when I look into the glass, I'm embarrassed to sing "Look at that face, just look at it..." but am more apt to blurt out "How much is that doggie in the ...?"
Now, now... musn't be so hard on myself...tsk, tsk, tsk...
Who are the ultimate in DRAG artistes? Jim Bailey-where has he gone?, Charles Pierce (passed on; we miss him terribly!) and the new diva in town Peter Mac! Is there such a thing as a woman female impersonator? Of course, Debbie Reynolds! But she has her own versatile act, so mustn't be categorized as one of the boys. And of course, Alex Billings, who does a knockout Hepburn as well - and what a superb actress!! Now getting back to the boys...Bailey - what a singer ... and as Judy Garland, if you closed your eyes, you would swear you were hearing Garland. His Streisand was good too, but not as great as Garland! He nailed her! Some said he was difficult to work with and didn't pay his employees well... but, I never listen to stories and only tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, myself!! So scratch that rumor! Charles Pierce did not sing, but his drop-dead funny impressions of Bette Davis, Tallulah Bankhead, Katharine Hepburn and Mae West were the best ever! What a funny man! Liz Smith said his act was the greatest nightclub act of all time! Charles was a friend of a friend of my friend Don and one Christmas left a voice-mail wishing him a Merry Christmas from Katharine Hepburn. Don just loved his wit. Pierce hardly ever changed a joke in his show, but he was so hysterical, you could listen to a story over and over again and never tire of it. Like Tallulah and Bette as gal pals driving to Palm Springs; Tallu takes a wiz in the road and gets bitten by a snake. Bette seeks out a doctor - SLOWly - and what finally does the doctor say? Well, it was just too horrible for Bette to repeat or even attempt to do, so she simply said to Tallulah ..."The doctor said...you're going to die!"
Then of course Steven Brinberg's musical tribute to Barbra Streisand Simply Barbra should be subtitled Sheer Heaven. This man has an uncanny vocal range like Babs and sounds so like her it's, it's...unreal. He makes Streisand seem like the fag.hag gal.pal every gay man likes to think she'd be...oh, if only she were his friend. And Brinberg keeps up with La Babs and changes his material constantly, so his act is topical and always funny.
If you haven't yet seen Peter Mac, hold onto your pants, 'cause this kid's a winner! He can sing and tribute all these ladies with panache. And he's so cute and such a fine singer in or out of drag! He has his very own inimitable style which is sometimes serious, but that's OK; he's also a terrific actor! He's doing a show at Tom Rolla's Gardenia December 14-17 replicating The Judy Garland Christmas Special with lots of guest appearances and surprises.

Jim Bailey above as Garland, Charles Pierce below as Bette Davis (as Baby Jane Hudson)

Steven Brinberg below in Simply Barbra

and the newest: Peter Mac as Judy Garland

So dolls, drag's never a drag; it's always fun. Who should no better than Diva Dona who wishes you the Merriest Christmas and Happy New Year 2012! I'll be back between XMas and New Year's with my resolutions and tips for a happier lifestyle, but in the meantime, don't watch your diet...puleeze! Overeat and drink yourselves silly...into oblivion for that matter...ENJOY!!!!!!

dona

xoxo

My New Christmas Promo

2011-11-18T21:16:00.000-08:00

Is it too much?
Of course, I wouldn't be up here, if I wasn't!!!

Happy Thanksgiving, Dolls!

2011-11-11T13:13:00.000-08:00

Diva Dona Talks Turkey at Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2010.

November Column - 10 Stereotypes of the Most Powerful Women

2011-10-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

In response to the article I read in Forbes and on The Huffington Post, all I can do is list the stereotypes, put moi within them all, and let the reader decide for himself.

1. Ice Queen

moi?

2. Single and Lonely

HA!

3. Tough

Look at that face! It could melt butter.

4. Weak

Overdone, you say!

5. Masculine

C'mon # 4 is just a sick joke!

6. Conniving

What about all those wonderful things I do for everyone? Like the time I let Angelina Jolie take my place as a presenter at the GLAAD Media Awards? I let her get my publicity as well as her own. A totally selfless creature am I! Does that sound conniving to you?

7. Emotional

8. Angry

My Christmas pose. The REAL me!!!!!

9. A Token

What????

Is this what you're referring to?

10. A Cheerleader

Does this look like they see me as a cheerleader or a LEADER?

I ask you fair and square.

See you in December, dolls, when all is once again fun and frolick! Enough of the politics, already! Not for this diva!!

Happy Halloween, Dolls!

2011-10-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Have a witchin', bitchin' Holiday!

October Column ...Ooh, la la...those Cirque Twins

2011-09-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

Dolls, the Atherton twins from the UK are two of the headliners
on aerial straps
in the new Cirque du Soleil's Iris.
I accompanied Don opening night and was happy just to see them standing still on stage, barechested in those cute little Roman war helmuts. Be still my heart!
Ay, que ricos! Let alone what ultra-skilled gymnasts they both are! Iris is miraculous, Hollywood's very own Cirque du Soleil. You have plenty of time to see it, as it's a permanent show for the Kodak Theatre, but you know how fast tix to shows sell around holiday time, so book early!

And what's this I hear about Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith in a recent interview? He doesn't go to drug therapy with her, because the problem didn't run in his family and he doesn't understand? Dolls, this is serious. Get your hubbie to accompany you to these meetings! Don't want to see divorce around the corner for these two, but Dona's hunches tell her something's amiss here! Hate it when I'm right, always such disastrous things occur. Ooowioo!

On a happier note three friends are performing live this week.
Firstly, Patti LuPone will be at Royce Hall, UCLA for one night only Tuesday October 4 with Gypsy in My Soul. She sings better than anyone, including moi! Then if you're in Chi Town this weekend Alexandra Billings is bringing her Katie's Corner to life there for 2 nights only. Anything can happen when she cuts loose on stage as Katie Hepburn. She'll climb a tree, slay a dragon...you name it! And there are always special guests with arts and crafts. Arts and ...what? That's right! Remember Katie's over 100 now, so these little measly things keep her happy!
Here's the address: Stage 773 1225 W. Belmont Chicago, IL October 7 and 8 only!
And then, if you're in Vegas, Jeff Trachta is opening for Liza - Minnelli, that is-who else? at the Las Vegas Hilton October 7 and 8 in a brand new show with over 100 characters. He's the best with impersonations! His George Burns had me rolling, so did his theme song from All in the Family as Edith Bunker. Jeff brings the stage to life with his multi-media split-screens and onstage antics! Don't miss him, and if you stop back to say hello to him, give him a big mwah from Dona and a hug from Don!

I leave you with a look at Antonio Banderas at 50. Could he look any better? Now get out and go to therapy with your wife, you little Spanish twit! Ay, caramba! Dios mio! The family that stays together goes to therapy together: that's Dona's prayer for October, dollcakes!
lol

No one could ever possibly replace Antonio Banderas, but...Rod just sent me a new shot from the road and Sound of Music. Of course, he doesn't look like this onstage, but I thought you might like to take a look behind the scenes.

September column - It's Good to be Home

2011-09-07T04:34:00.000-07:00

After a short but fulfilling summer tour, I'm back home again in LA. Yeah! It's good to be home. "Home" - I feel like Diana Ross and singing a chorus from The Wiz! but...I won't! Let me say, dollcakes, doing a night club act is not as easy as it used to be. These old legs of mine got some working out this summer, let me tell you! Youthful looking, yes! Youthful feeling?...get out of here! But the ride's been fun, thank you one and all for coming out and supporting me, and now it's time to be a gossip diva once more!

This stud (above) - Rod - was one of my dancing boys in the show and he is doing a bus and truck tour this fall of Sound of Music, playing Captain Von Trapp. He'll give the discipline thing a whole new meaning! He'll whip those kids into shape!
Seriously folks, I understand that Patti Lupone will be doing Gypsy in My Soul at Royce Hall, UCLA as a benefit for Reprise Theatre Company on October 4. Bless her! She flies around this country doing concerts with the energy of Wonder Woman. I wish I knew her secret. I'm tired after my spin and want to kick back and write for a few months. Do you believe Barbra has a new album of Bergman songs What Matters Most and still sounds fabulous! Right on, Babs! Her sister Ros Kind will be back at Catalina Jazz Club in October. She sings so well! On the movie scene, I understand The Help will be nominated for a slew of awards this year. Can't wait to see it! Viola Davis sure won my heart for her solid performance in Doubt a few years back, so I'm sure she's just great in The Help. And Cher will be making a rare appearance soon on TCM as Robert Osborne's guest hostess when she picks her favorite movies. Based on a preview I saw, she still looks unbelievable! To be honest, dolls, I'm in the Betty White camp. No plastic surgery pour moi! I'll just keep on my diet - now there's a laugh and a half - well, I'll watch videos of me performing this summer, and if that doesn't work to make me want to stay in Jane Fonda shape, I'll start doing the treadmill and ballet every day!
Lots of goodies to report on in October, so stay tuned!
Hasta!
dona
lol

PS If I look aghast, look what a fan sent me below! He thought I'd look cuter as a man! Eek! How do I take this?
I'll just laugh my fool head off!

Dona's Last Stand

2011-09-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

Dolls, this is the final weekend for my show - the last time I will sing "We Need a Little Christmas" for a while and play with my ball ...Santa's ball, that is! Will miss the fun of this summer on the road, as I head back to LA and work. Those of you who came out to see me on the Cape and in NJ, love 'ya and all your support!
New juicy September column next week when I return!
Hasta!

Stars, Starry, Starry Stars...Look Who Came the Other Night

2011-08-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Look serious enough? Matt Damon, a truly fine actor, came to see the show the other night, and when I caught him smiling out of the corner of my eye during the tranny sketch, I swear he saw me and his face turned sober in a flash. Well, no congrats, backstage visits or signs of enjoying it, but I've heard it rumored - at least from Ernestina - that he might play a transvestite or drag queen in a new film and he's checking out local color. Am I colorful enough, do you think, dolls?

August Column - Monday Show July 25 in Atlantic City ... Big Surprise

2011-07-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

My column this month runs purely personal, but I hope you will enjoy it!
Well...they talked me into doing a Monday night show as well as Friday, Saturday and Sunday last weekend. They said I would attract New York celebrities whose shows are dark on Monday...and of course it would be good for business. Mine or theirs?? Well, anyway, whoopee sh-t, much to my surprise...on the red carpet lo and behold little Harry.. I mean J. Pierpont F...I mean sweet Daniel Radcliffe... came to see ... moi!

How do you like my new poster with me wearing my Christmas hat? Isn't it cute? Anyway, my assistant Ernie ... I call him Ernestina because his hair falls into little spitcurl bangs all over his forehead...came rushing back to the dressing room 10 minutes before curtain and could hardly speak, he was so friggin' excited. Har...hair...hairy...HAIRY "I know you're hairy! Spit it out, Ernestina! Don't hold it in; you'll get gas! If anything happens to you, I cannot afford medical insurance for you...not on this salary!"
"It's little Harry Potter come to see you. What's his real name?" he sputtered, practically giving me a bath with his spraying saliva.

"Daniel Radcliffe ... what? Daniel Radcliffe here at my show?" Holy crap! What should I cut? Do I do all the smut or do I cut out the four letter words? What about the transgender sketch? ...Wait a minute, he's not a kid anymore. He's a big Broadway star, who's been naked on stage in Equus and now he's dancing and singing his tush off and wooing babes in How To Succeed...I bet he loves dirt. Anyway, dolls, to make an hour long anecdote short and to the point, I did the show as I have been doing it, with every bit of camp, triple X language and sensuality that the audience have been just slurping up. I heard this little laugh from the table down front when I bent over and put my face between my legs in "Happy Birthday, Mr. President"...I looked and looked from side to side and then back to front...and finally I saw this tiny, tiny person in a baseball cap...I swear his chin was on the table...at first I thought he was one of the stangehands' tykes, then a midget...no, it was Daniel Radcliffe and he was in hysterics - little curt laughs but a lot of them in rapid fire succession like a machine gun spitting! I caught him laughing and consistently smiling for the rest of the show. Our eyes met at one point, and I swear he blushed, red as a beet! He even stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I swear to you...he stood up on the chair so I would see him clapping! I waited and waited in the dressing room for him to come back...but he never did. After about 15 minutes, Ernestina went out for a second to use the restroom - I never let HIM pee in my latrine... I mean, puleeze...must stay germ and virus free. He made a speedy return with a vase filled with the prettiest lavendar flowers I have ever seen. When I asked Ernestina who had given them to him, he was speechless and handed me the card. It read:

Dearest Diva Dona,

You are utterly smashing and intoxicating. This is my first excursion to Atlantic City since I have been in New York and I am overjoyed to have seen your curious extravaganza. It's delicious, as are you.

all my love,

Daniel

Lavendar? mmm...Interesting choice! I've heard he's completely straight! I wonder why he came here alone?
You can't imagine the number of times I have read and reread that note trying to imagine his adorable English accent on every syllable. Tuesday I sent roses to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre where he's performing. My card read simply:

Thank you my darling Daniel. Can't wait to see you on stage.

lol

Dona

The next day an envelope arrived with two free tickets to the matinee this Saturday August 6 to How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. I will go into New York and can't wait to see my little Brit prince. Excuse me dolls, I'm weeping...he brings out the mommala in me. I will not take Ernestina with me...puleeze, she's too ... embarrassing ... like Butterfly McQueen!

Will be back in September and I promise more celebrity dish. In the meantime, if you're in Atlantic City, catch my show through this month - I'm extended til August 29 - at Tropicana Casino and Resort on the Boardwalk - yes, Mondays, as well as Fridays - Sundays at 8: 30 pm

On the Road Again...

2011-07-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

Sweet show biz and the road! Am I too old for this? Never. It's sheer joy. I'm in Atlantic City for two weekends and will do my August column from here.
Happy rest of July, dolls! And here's a little Christmas in July from my show...Oh We Need a Little Christmas, right this very minute, candles in the window, carols @...well, you get the idea!! Always wanted to be Mame! Been an auntie many a time, but never Mame!
dona
xo

July Interview with Yanni Deep

2011-07-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

Dollcakes, what a Fourth of July weekend this has been! Thrown in the pokey on a DUI! These fireworks I could have lived without! I have to be honest: I had a little too much to drink at the party at PJs after what seemed a fabulous performance - audiences loved it!
Don, of course, bailed me out, but it's too much embarrassment and humiliation for a true Diva to endure! Never, never say that Diva Dona is a liar. No siree, I am brutally honest, to the core. My Sunday show was of course cancelled due to my absence - we did think about recording a song from my cell, but these Mass police are something else; hard to believe gay marriage passed in this Puritanical state. The merriment continues as we are en route to New Jersey for more fun stuff. Stay tuned!
As promised, below is my interview with my hot dancer, handsome male stripper Yanni Deep. Enjoy!

So Yanni, what's it like dancing behind moi, instead of your usual stripping gigs?

Dona, it's a pleasure doing anything behind you, in front of you, you name it, baby! You're the greatest! Oh, and thanks for believing in me!

You're welcome! You're so hot! Audiences love you! Now, stop avoiding answering my question. Everybody wants to know about male stripping and what it does or doesn't do for you.

I'm on a high when I strip. I mean...women or guys, as the case may be...pay good money to see me take off my clothes, and I don't dare disappoint them. I workout every day for 3 hours, watch my diet, and enjoy every minute of my time onstage. It's basically the same dancing in your show, except I'm in the background, I provide the color of the scene whereas you're the scene. I like ensemble work...it takes everyone to make something good, not just one, but if any one stands out, Dona Dearest, it's you.

I didn't give him that raise for nothing Such a sweet boy! Tell me about how you got into stripping.

You probably won't believe this, but I started my own dance act in the privacy of my own bedroom. I used to practice as a teenager. One night I got a call from a neighbor telling me to pull down my shades...that she could see right into my bedroom and what I was doing was driving her wild. She ended up being my first...woman, that is...I was only 15...and she got me into her husband's club dancing once a week.

So you started dancing for women, not men.

Yeah, and I've always found women more appreciative than men, especially with tipping. Men are cheap, but if you give 'em enuf, women will dish out plenty! Yippeee!

When did stripping in gay clubs begin for you?

In my late 20s, a big shot got me out of some drug problems, groomed me, made me a hustler, and the rest became history, so to speak. It's been men ever since. But, I gotta tell 'ya, I miss the women. And, in your show, the women are again playing a huge part in making me feel important. I mean, I can't believe women love your show. Actually more broads do than queens. They love your makeup and your costumes. Ha ha! So far I've gotten two offers of work from women attending your show.

Doing what? Stripping?

(in his best tough voice) Somethin' wrong with strippin'?

(laughs)

Didn't think I knew about Gypsy and Broadway, did ya'?

Oh you're full of surprises, Yanni...one right after the other!

As a matter of fact, this manager lady I met told me I should dance on Broadway...and I might take her up on that.

Honey, no offense, but I think you're a little too old for the chorus!

Chorus! What about the lead? You're never too old...you should know, Dona Dearest!

Smart cookie, that Yanni Deep, too smart for his own britches...and we will not get into where he got his name...it's too obscene for publication. Catch him in my show...while he's there! He may not be here much longer, if you catch my drift!!!

Enjoy the July heat!

July On the Road

2011-07-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

Forgive me dolls, but these GD authorities would not even allow me my laptop in this God forsaken prison. I had a little too much to drink at Saturday's after party, but throwing me in jail is the utmost disgrace. I am innocent until proven guilty. The tour will go on! My dear friend Don is posting this for me:
I have a wonderful interview with one of my hot dancers, male stripper Yanni Deep
to share with you
SOON.

yanni deep

Dona Eduardo Gregorio Arrested on DUI

2011-07-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

Dona Eduardo Gregorio was arrested Sunday July 3 at 3 am in Provincetown, Massachusetts on a DUI. Miss Gregorio was as she claimed "merely celebrating her opening at PJs on Saturday July 2 with a little private stash". PJs was forced to cancel Dona's Sunday show. Bail has been posted.

Dona's Nervous...

2011-06-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

Dolls, I leave for the East coast in a couple of days...opening this weekend in P Town. I'm shaking, I'm quaking, I love this biz, I hate this biz...come see me if you're in town...wish me luck! I think I've got a show. God help me!!

xo
dona
ps Look for July column next Monday! Happy 4th! Eat lots of BBQ and drink moderately! Have a blast!!!
me
I take inspiration from Katy Perry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTfZXh427B0

Christmas in July

2011-06-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

Rehearsals are going well for the show, dolls! I've decided to add a Christmas number. Christmas in July!!? Call me sentimental, but I love XMas and thought a cute "We Need a Little Christmas" from Mame would be a great new opening number. Write and let me know your thoughts!

New Costume for Dodo

2011-06-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

Whatcha think, dolls? Too Vegas for East Coast gays?

Here's My Poster for the Road Tour

2011-06-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

See Diva Dona in Dona and Her Big Mouth all this summer.
Opening in Provincetown, Mass @ PJ's on July 2 and 3 playing at 10 pm and again at 12 am.
Then on to Boston, Philly and NJ before New York opening in August!
stay tuned!

Dona's Rehearsing...

2011-06-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

Dolls, I'm adding a new character to the show - Sister Rona! I'm putting her on roller skates and she's going to sing. I can't title the segment The Singing Nun, it's been done, so what about Sister Rona's Rollers ...Roll ing, roll ing, roll ing... Oh did I mention she's going to sing "Proud Mary"? Oh, she's also an adult therapist and doles out tidbits of advice like "Be kind! Get in the habit!" I know...perf! Get in the Habit with Sister Rona!

Dona's Mostly Good Reviews from Vegas

2011-06-04T10:43:00.000-07:00

Here's the best and the worst, dolls, lest anyone accuse me of being a liar!

"Diva Dona really knows how to deliver a song."C'Mon a My House" had George Clooney squirming in his seat and several men hurling underwear on stage. A new age Mae West, Dona is the toast of the Strip! She's a sizzler!" (That's the Vegas Strip, dollcakes!)
- Jay Untervar, Desert Breeze

"Diva Dona is truly an artiste. Whether via song or spoken word this doll sells it to the WORLD."
-Pedro Clements, Valley Telegram

"Mwah to Diva Dona! She's the hottest thing to come to the desert since Ann-Margret. Sexy, fun and full of the demon gods! What a show! She had me rolling in the aisles and peeing at the same time!
-Brianna Styles, Audience World

"What a glorious addition to the Bally's Wall of Fame. Diva Dona has made it! She is truly a star! No, a Godessa!
-Diego Barcelona, River News

......OK, and the worst one! Never say Dona is vain:

"How much did Diva Dona pay Bally's to do her gig? She can't sing and she can't act! This sacrilegious set should stay where it belongs. Pardon my French, but let it stink up the crapper!"
-DD Pilato, Vegas On Stage

(on opening night backstage, this charcoal sketch artist really immortalized MOI, YO... ME!)

Dona Auditions Her Boys

2011-06-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

Do you think this hunky dude fits my mold? Yeaahh!!! Screw the chorus line! He's next in line to be my BODYGUARD!

Yes, I'm A Goin' On the Road, Dollcakes!

2011-06-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

Made a decision to DO IT! I'll be touring up and down the Eastern seaboard this summer beginning July 2 - OMG! Do hope the tornados stay calm, for I'm a strong enough gal e for any Massachusetts town! Will continue with my column from the road. Will be in P Town Fourth weekend and will report from there! Yeahhh!!
'Til July, dolls!

June Report on Dona's May Night Club Foray

2011-05-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Dolls, I've just returned from Vegas and a triumphant engagement at Bally's from May 10-15. I am so over-the-moon about breaking my constant "I don't want to do this anymore" and just getting my tush out there and performing. It was thrilling! Let me tell you I've been approached to come back this summer and there's one producer - shhhh! - can't mention his name, but his initials are S. O. B. - sounds like a curse, doesn't it, but, oh, he's really sweet! He wants me to cross country with the act. I'm mulling it all over; I have to make a decision by June 15, as we would leave on tour at the end of this month and do shows throughout the summer until September, and perhaps beyond.
Let me first of all tell you about the show, as so many have asked: "Diva Dona, what do you actually do on stage? Tell campy jokes?" "Dollcakes," I always reply, "I was an actress and have done an act in Europe." Yes, it's true, it's been a few years, but Don thought it was time to get out there and strut my stuff once more...so, in the new act I sing, dance - well, shit, un poquito - and get down and frisky with several comedic character sketches, written by the one and only Don Grigware." I do this faded Southern belle a la Blanche Du Bois named Beu Hubley. You know the type, had a million husbands, lovers and just can't settle for one even as she approaches middle-age. Well, Beu (pronounced b yoo) with fan in hand sings "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" and does a whole raucous monologue about the perils of growing old without love, that special TLC that every woman craves and must have, regardless of age. The audience just loved it! I also do a kind of newly changed tranny named Dodo who just hasn't quite found it yet. She's awkward - with some male hormones still raging - and bursts into song with "My Life". I know, I know, only Shirley Bassey can really do this one well, but give me credit for trying... and then there's my favorite impression in the show, MM - that's a jazzed up Mary Martin - singing Happy Birthday, Mr. President! (the photo is above left) Boy, that body spa works wonders especially those mud wraps. They sure as hell smell like shit, but look at me, dolls, I look 30 years younger! In case you're wondering I'm staring incredulously at a young stud at a front row table who was whistling at me. Yeaah!! If that didn't stimulate an old broad to go on and give it my all, nothing would. I mean there's always backstage after the show. And there was!!! Dolls, the possibilities are endless - and were, if you get my drift.
Surely, I tease. Those of you that know me are aware of just how demure I really am.
Anyway, now you know what I do in the show, so let's talk about opening night, May 10. When they told me who was there, I was verklempt. I mean Johnny Depp there to see me, little Dona! And...oh, my heart...George...C.. C... C ... Clooney... can you believe it? Rosemary's nephew...oy, I'm spritzing from the very thought of it! Both came back to congratulate me, separately, of course! Neither can afford to ruin his image with any tell tale gossip about two male movie idols possibly being together. I mean George and Johnny, a....Naaaah! Below enjoy the red carpet arrival photos of both! Johnny was so sweet and complimentary; loved Dodo and even suggested that it might make a curious film. OMG! Did he mean for him or for me? Hmmmmm, you can never trust these movie stars. They see it and then they steal it. Oh, I'll just have to trust dear Johnny. He gave me his card and asked me to call him in Paris. Ooh la la! George, on the other hand, was very guarded, rather cold at first and then suddenly jarring with his one comment. He looked me straight in the eye and asked if it was really necessary to sing "C'mon a My House" as an encore. Was he telling me I should leave it out? Wouldn't Rosemary Clooney be honored to know it was a loving tribute to her? Well, my dears, I didn't quite know what to say. I mean, does that mean the Clooney clan hates me? He did kiss me on the cheek though as he left. I've refrained from washing that side of my face. He's really a stud!

Well, dolls, needless to say, the after party on opening night was ecstasy. The champagne was flowing, as well as the caviar, and even if George Clooney didn't stay to celebrate with me, it's OK. He came! What more can I expect? And I'm sorry, dear George, but "C'mon a My House" is staying in the show. Italians in the audience stood up and cheered ...NIGHTLY! One man even threw his jock strap on stage. OMG, I shouldn't have told you that! It's embarrassing. Here I am in middle-age getting the on stage attention of Tom Jones. It's amazing, surprising and every other emotion you can imagine.
As I mull over my decision to go on the road with the new act...here's to life, dolls and of course, to you!
I'll keep you posted.

(Here's the finale photo of "C'mon a My House". Is it maybe the Madonna bra and slip Clooney doesn't like?)

OK...Una mas...One more...

2011-05-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

Better???
Here I did my Southern scene as Blanche Du Bois, or was it Blanche Deveraux?
Forgive me, dolls, I'm not as young as I used to be!
Oh yes, it's...Beu Hubley! (pronounced B yoo)

Performance Photo...Preview Tease

2011-05-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

Sneak peek
Dona was going for the Victor/Victoria look:
a woman trying to be a man trying to be a woman
well, shit, dolls, I TRIED!!!
Her name is Dodo!
For other photo segments of my show, you'll just have to wait until June!!

What an Opening!

2011-05-11T04:55:00.000-07:00

Oy! Who am I? Where am I? Which side is up? My head , she's sh...pinning! What an opening night at Bally's! Celebs, and good to great reviews...and party, party, party! I'm in hog heaven. More in June!
xo
dona

Off to Vegas, dolls!

2011-05-06T16:23:00.001-07:00

Wish me luck! I'm doing a week at Bally's. What am I going to do, you query? Why dollcakes, I'm appearing onstage to a throng of my closest fans and I do promise a show like no other of its kind.
Stay tuned for my column in June, when I will let you know every last detail. The last time I appeared there...well, a foreign dignitary...I refuse to divulge his name...threatened to blow up the joint unless my engagement was extended. Claimed he was in love with me. Oy! Certainly glad he's been forced out of existence! Let's have a peaceful week, if you please: Bally's May 10 - 15.
Hasta!

Tra la, It's May the Lusty Month of ...

2011-04-18T17:48:00.000-07:00

It's one thing to go ape over someone, but when a fan sent me this photo (top) of a gorilla at the zoo carrying my photo, I didn't know whether to be flattered or frightened...I mean an ape is infatuated with me... or maybe he thinks I'm his cruel, mean boss woman and is picketing against me... down with Dona!! ... oy! I suppose it could be worse... it might be a cougar or a lion. As long as he doesn't try to look me up, it's OK...and I'm definitely keeping my hide away from the zoo...Anyway, the photo (second from top) of my friend's birthday bash with two male strippers really got me in the mood for May. Yes, it's the lusty month of May, dolls, so enjoy!

What's the word around Hollywood? At the opening of God of Carnage @ the Ahmanson. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were sitting two rows in front of me and my friend Don, who was reviewing the show... talk about calcium deposits, I've never seen so many cheekbones at one time in my life. The pair probably want to do the film of Carnage...if they want it, they'll get it...talk about Hollywood clout...they'd certainly rake in the bucks at the box office...B & A were photographed as they escaped their fans by using the tunnel from backstage to the garage...What a life!

(Ryan Miller/Capture Imaging)

And weddings, dolls! LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrion, Prince William... and a new show on cable - as if Bridezillas isn't enough - with that little diva wedding planner Tori Spelling and her hubby Dean McDermott. I don't know, my dears, but Dean looks mighty overpowered by Tori on this show, as she's calling most of the shots. He seems to be along for the ride! Remember when she showed more vulnerability and he was there to pick her up out of her doldrums? What do you think? Like their past shows better? Loved the bed and breakfast episodes, also the one where she reconciled with her mother Candy Spelling, but this new one might be headed straight to the flush zone! Let's do another gay wedding...now that one was cute and different. And where are their two adorable kids while they're doing all this so-called planning? Is Candy babysitting her grandkids? Hmmmm... what a laugh!

All these pretty couples thrown into the marriage bin...ugh! They'll find out! Live and learn! I leave you, my friends, with pleasing thoughts for May. Go see Burn the Floor @ the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood until May 8 and think LUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hasta junio, munequitas! (I'm learning Spanish from Don. Couldn't resist trying it out and challenging you!)

Amor, pesetas y el tiempo para gozarlos!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I am not political, but am shocked and appalled by people's rude behavior, especially by politicians who represent the people and then put only their own selfish attitudes into play. The picture that was circulated about President Obama's origins is obnoxious. Questioning his birth credentials has got to stop. It's really gotten out of control.

This photo, which appeared recently in most newspapers and via wire services, goes beyond racist.

My photo and comments at the beginning about our two-legged furry friends are used purely for comic effect, but this photo is unforgivable. Stand up and object!!

Dear Diva Dona

2011-04-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

I love your new column and would love to meet you personally. May I phone you at the number I saw on the lavatory wall of that hot joint in PS? My picture is below and I'm definitely worth it.
If interested,
contact me @
lol
CH

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear CH,
Thanks, but no thanks! I'm not that kind of woman! I can see why you have been on all those magazine covers, though! Keep reading!
best,
Dona
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
To My Readers,
See what I mean. Ah, the cost of fame and what one must go through living in sleezy, tawdry Hollyweird!
lol
Dona

XXX Rated - Not For the Little Brats

2011-04-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

When someone told me I was bigger than life on the wall of an out-of-town lavatory, I was appalled. My friend took this shot. Would you believe the man on the right actually flashed my friend? I will not mention the name of this place, as I do not want my fans to frequent such an establishment - and for heaven sakes, leave the little tykes at home. Someone had the unmitigated gall to put my phone number next to the picture on the wall. It's not mine, so don't even waste your time to check it out - unless of course, you're T D & H and stinking RICH!

Who or what is on display here?

2011-04-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

My portrait is on display at a local museum. A classy one, don't you think? I don't mind being gawked at, but, my dears, that gal on the right needs to buy a larger blouse. I mean, I love seeing flesh displayed properly, but that is a disgusting sight! And on a woman no less! Ugh!

More Dona Adulation

2011-04-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Even President Obama is a HUGE Dona fan!

Another Dona Fan Fetish

2011-03-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

Oy! Am I on a downward spiral? From around the neck to below the navel!

April, 2011 Easter Basket, Anyone?

2011-03-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

OMG, I feel like a pretzel in an M & M! Easter egg avec moi ce soir? Easter isn't until April 24, very late this year! It's a big religious holiday for foreigners. It's more sacred than Christmas. They take Holy Week off from school and business, and everyone reflects on the true meaning of life. Getting depressed? I sure as hell am! And...adding to the depression, one of my favorite divas of all time - La Liz - left us March 23rd. So sad! I loved her! True Hollywood GLAMOUR! She had it in spades. The last of a dying breed! And to think how she sacrificed it all for her brave performance as Martha in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf! Hard to believe she was only 34 at the time she filmed that. She was amazing! And what about her undying commitment offscreen in the fight against AIDS? She was a gem! No other quite like LIZ!! I miss her already...
I am so flattered when people compare us!

I frankly don't think the look in my MGM lion test picture is anywhere near Taylor's ferocious growl as Martha, but I get fan letters all the time telling me I should pick up the drama where Liz left off. Me, a drama queen?
We're both public figures with ex husbands, though she beat me numberwise in that department and just about every other broad in Hollywood! If I could only live up to her stellar reputation for charity and good will. C'mon, Dona, you can do it! Time to come down off that pedestal, and give, give, give!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
With Easter fast approaching, that means spring, dolls! And of course, in spring, ladies' minds turn not only to romance, but to fashion - the latest fashion! What is truly chic these days? ...Knock, knock...helloooo!? I was shocked and appalled to see the newest leisure wear modeled in a top selling magazine:

Mmmm...the Farmer John look. OK! Big, loose and sloppy! Kind 'a looks like what I wore fifty years ago to milk the cows or to conceal those extra unwanted lbs. Ughhh! What a thought! I hope leisure means around the house. Where would this gal go on a date? More to the point, looking like this, would a guy want to take her home to mother? With minds in the gutter these days...who has time for mother anyway? And what about the hair? THE HAIR??!! She's wearing it extra long and tossed over the shoulder. If it's short, what's in these days?

Not much different long or short! Did she just get out of bed, or better still the haystack?! And how much did that Bev. Hills hairdresser charge her for this unkempt holy mess? Oy!!! 'Nuf said!
Where has all the glamour gone?

Happy Easter! Keep thinking spring and GLAMOUR - it's here somewhere. If so, Dona WILL find it and bring it your way! May, dollcakes!

Dona on the Big Screen

2011-03-11T15:15:00.000-08:00

No, despite this producer's promo of Dona's face on the big screen, she is NOT making a film.
Of course, if the right price is offered...

Dona's Fandom

2011-03-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

Some fans will do anything for attention. Some are sincere. Some go too far! This muscleman tatooed Dona on his back! She's surprised, shocked and...above all, tintillated! Yeaahh!
Mmmmmmmmmmm!

Bad Economy?

2011-03-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

With a recession in full bloom, Diva Dona is adding her two cents to radically reform consumerism in America. "People will spend if they trust the face that's on the bill!"

Dona May Adorn Popular Fragrance

2011-03-01T14:44:00.000-08:00

Chanel denies ever asking, so I'm thinking of creating my very own parfum, called Fragradona. Has a certain lilt, n'est-ce pas?

March, 2011 - GREEN QUEEN for a DAY

2011-02-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

I'll do anything for Saint Patty, but I never thought for a million years, dolls, that I would be GREEN. Maybe I could pick up a tour as Elphaba? Too old, you say? You're never too old to be a witch... a bitch... no a witch...a bitchy witch...a witchy bitch! Whatever, I've got the stuff! Stay tuned! I may make Wicked yet!
And talk about wickedly gorgeous, have you seen the new Jane Fonda in 33 Variations @ the Ahmanson fresh from some PS? She looks uncannily like she did 50 years ago in those Barbarella days. Talk about sexy grandmas; she's got yours truly thinking about the kni.. ouch!!! No, no, no, never! But that's what Jane said too, and look at her! Don't get the wrong idea about those gloves. She doesn't do what you're thinking. This is adult stuff but good and clean!

In the meantime, let's talk about fans, dolls. If the item below is an example of how a Queen should be treated by...

How do I take this?! I have only one retort: chew on this m-----!

I never meant to be crass, but when you are sent a photo like the one above in the mail - for an autograph, no less! Ahhhh! The nerve and humiliation. I don't want to sound like a school marm, but tell me who you are, your return address shows only a post office box number in South Central LA. I'll do my best to forgive you! In the meantime, Oscar's on my brain!
I watched the 83rd Academy Awards ceremony on Sunday, February 27. Ann Hathaway and James Franco co-hosted - are you friggin' kidding? This job is reserved for the big wigs like Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, Billy Crystal - thank God, he showed up - or Hugh Jackman: now there's a great piece of ...
entertainment ... but these two youngsters are... inexperienced, babes in arms. True, Hathaway has an adorable personality and looked sensational in the several sleek gowns she wore, but...I'm speechless. Speechless, not breathless...Hmmmmmm! And Franco's splendid drag as Marilyn Monroe was ruined by his refusal to do anything with it. He was as butch as all get out. He looked good, but had no fun with it.

Did I miss something? If it was intended that way, what a drag, indeed! I mean why put on that makeup, get all dressed up like a woman and then act like a man?! I should know all about that, my dears!! Thank God for Melissa Leo's four letter word - it broke the monotony of the evening and also Randy Newman's little joke about expanding the number of song nominees. Sandra Bullock's down-to-earth comments with the Best Actor nominees was also cute, but the overall show- a BORE! And that chorus of kiddies at the end performing "Over the Rainbow" gleefully as all the winners dashed out from behind like munchkins, from what looked like an unfinished outdoor set from The Wizard of Oz. OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Thank heavens it's only once a year that we have to suffer such insanity! Annette Bening -sadly a four time loser - looked glam as did Bullock and most of the others. Natalie Portman gave a lovely, sweet acceptance speech and Colin Firth - what a class act!
The gowns were pretty but this Hollywood Easter Parade needed more flair and pizazz like the shows of yesteryear!!!!!!! Where was the ENTERTAINMENT? Perhaps across the street at the Hollywood Roosevelt!?
April, dolls, with more dish!

More Valentine Surprises

2011-02-05T12:04:00.000-08:00

An old beau from the South named a rose after me. Remember Mrs. Minniver? Well, dolls, he's named it... Dona Rosa ... ahhhh!!

Funny Photo even created a Valentine gift in my honor. Photo Hearts carved in the sand - how sweet! Except, I can't quite figure out what that damn starfish is doing sitting next to me. Well, at the very least, I'm upstaging it! Maybe a symbol of my newfound glory? Anyway, I do hope it's good luck. See you in March, my darlings, when my Irish nature will take full bloom.

When I See My Face in Lights

2011-02-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

An internationally famous rock star - I'll never tell - saluted me as the Hot Mamma of All Time. What a treat, just in time for Valentine's Day. It makes an old woman's heart go pitter pat!

February, 2011 - Hearts On Fire

2011-01-22T16:31:00.000-08:00

Welcome, dolls, to Hearts On Fire Month! Hollywood is a hot romance town. One minute you're married and the next you're engaged to someone else! Who has a long-lasting relationship here? Well, the last time I really looked into it, I found a few souls who have stuck it out together, like...well, Annette Bening is still married to Warren Beatty...lovely, quite admirable, indeed! And will she finally snag that Best Actress Oscar this year for The Kids Are Alright? Annette has lost before to a younger actress...she's resilient...here's hoping she whips their butts this time around! Who else is still happily trapped...I mean hitched? Catherine Zeta-Jones still loyal to Michael Douglas, and standing by him in his hour of need. Noble, yes! These oh so beautiful couples! Lovely Helen Mirren is still with director Taylor Hackford and they appear the perfect couple...Ah, but underneath, who knows what dirty secrets lurk! Talk about perfect... What happened to me, dolls? Taboo topic! This gal was once a tempting catch, but... betrayed by an ass- - - -, 'nuf said!... as to the newer crop of actors? Well, my dears, did you see this year's Golden Globe Awards? I never saw a more unhappy face than that of Angelina Jolie. Are she and Brad Pitt still happy? They looked pretty bored to me...hardly looked at each other, and I question whether it was Ricky Gervais' comment about The Tourist that made her seem so sober faced...Anyway, onward and upward...hearts on fire!

Love and sex in Hollywood of course depend largely on how young one looks. I have to admit that with a touch here and a touch there, most Hollywoodlanders look better, but it never ends. They seem to want to look YEARS younger and so the procedures go on and on until... Take Cher, or Joan Rivers, for example, wanting to fix her underarm dingledangle. For those of you who watch the new Cable series Joan and Melissa on WE, she practically showed her entire body on screen. (see my reaction below as I watched on my cell screen)

That takes guts and Joan has guts to pass around, but the doctor said an emphatic NO, which pleased Melissa! Joan's reached her limit! We all want to see her stick around awhile longer; PS is life-threatening at a certain age...and What about Burt Reynolds? Skin peel? Face lift? The last time I saw him from the rear he was pretty , well no more perky buns...oops! Oh, dolls, you're too young to remember that Cosmopolitan photo layout of his! Oy! Fan me! I'm shpritzing!!! Should a man have plastic surgery? Why not? To preserve what these guys (below) have, well, not for me, anyway! When all is said and done, Dona refuses to go under the knife for any cosmetic reasons. Let me suffer alone, if that's the way it must be! As Lesley Gore sings, "It's My Party!" But I'll make the best of what I do have and so should you! Advice: celebrate Valentine's Day with a bang; go out and live, live, live! As Auntie Mame said, "Life's a banquet and most poor sons-a-bitches are starving to death!"
lol
dona

And always remember in your heart of hearts:

What a grand thing, to be loved!
What a grander thing still, to love!

- Victor Hugo -

Every Diva's Dream: My Peasants Cry Out "Donita Lady Presidenta!"

2011-01-20T13:43:00.000-08:00

I can't believe my eyes, dolls! My popularity is stretching across the globe. I'm being sought out to run for office in a foreign land. President? What about First Lady? I guess I'd need a hubbie for that, and after my last marriage to a foreign ...well, forget it! The honor still makes me pause a moment, though, just to consider the consequences of a grande lifestyle. Hmmmmmm...I'd still do my column of course, but I wonder what kind of celebs I would encounter there? By the looks of this frenzied lass, I'm the hottest gal on the map! Yippeee!!
Check back in February! My heart's all a twitter...no, not on Twitter... twitter!!

Diva Dona Does the Big Screen

2011-01-18T18:45:00.000-08:00

Diva Dona Does the Small Screen

2011-01-18T18:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day, Dolls!

2011-01-15T06:51:00.000-08:00

Dona Will Be Back In February

2011-01-15T06:48:00.000-08:00

Hearts On Fire Month!!!

Here's Looking At You, Dolls!

2011-01-13T22:23:00.001-08:00

Diva Dona Returns to Dish the Biz - January, 2011

2010-12-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

Welcome dolls, to a brand new me! It's 2011 and I'm so excited! This joint we call Hollywood is jumpin! Let's see what there is to dish:

Woaa! Is that James Franco, aka James Dean, photographed by Terry Richardson for Candy Magazine? Yup, Franco, it is and what an elegantly handsome broad.... I mean woman he makes! Almost as seductive as the drag Patrick Swayze did on film in To Wong Foo... This is tres chique, charmante - a truly lasting look ... I will never see little Jimmy Franco the same way again ... without registering his other side! I'm a fine one to talk about other sides, but, darlings, they do exist, so why keep them hidden in the closet. It's psychologically damaging and creates gas. It'll kill you! You gotta let it out and Be Whatcha Are! No negative dish here, I love it!
And by the way speaking of glamorous dames, is there a finer singer/interpreter of song than Miss Toni Morrell who just closed her Remembering the Ladies at the El Portal Forum Theatre on New Year's Eve? She puts the wonder in wonderwoman...! Look below as she shares offstage afterglow with Don and friend Vicki Pacifico, who described herself as a friggin' midget next to the tall Toni...the dear! (photo by Toni's hubbie David Dial)

Anyway, what about more of the latest breaking - broken? - dish! That's right broken dish, where you get the knife in and turn it! We're not all perfect after all. Well, here are a couple of my predictions for 2011. Mel Gibson? Stop thrashing him! Ignore him! Maybe he'll eventually go away like the plague. Joan Rivers? That's right, dolls, she's got a brand new cable series - reality, of course - with her daughter Melissa. Who else? She's her best friend. Joan is one hilarious bitch! I love her endurance, lifts or not. She goes on and on and ... So what if she'll bend over one of these days and her face falls off; I'll still love her, so I predict her new show will be a great big hit! Rivers has spunk. She's the best! Go get 'em, girl!!
Sad, sad, sad! ATWT (As the World Turns) was cancelled in 2010. I'm heartbroken, my dears! Do you know, in 1956, at 10 years of age, I used to sneak in when my mommy wasn't looking and tune in to this soap - I mean daytime drama - to watch Penny (Rosemary Prinz) and Jeff (Mark Rydell), the oh so perfect couple of 1956? Their relationship was scandalous for those times. And those great writers kept ATWT going for 54 years. What mayhem; plots that could have been taken right out of my very own life! Well, no more, this show is gone! Less soap and more reality! That's what the people want! Less soap and more dirt! Yeahhh! ...
I predict ... Maybe I'll do ... my own reality show...Diva Dona Agrees: Blondes Do Have More Fun...

no, no, no ... absolutely not! C'mon, it's beneath me; I'm not a trash bucket like the Kardashians: I'm a class act and I want something classy and until I find the right vehicle - I hate that word; it's not a car... ACT that's it, act - you, my precious dolls, are stuck with me right here, so stay tuned for a fabulous New Year 2011 with columns that'll knock those socks right off of you.

Parting advice? Well, to quote Lady Gaga:

Tonight I will return all the fame and riches earned,
with you I'd watch them all be burned
I'm Beautiful In My Way,
Cause God Makes No Mistakes,
I'm On The Right Track, Baby
I Was Born This Way

Don't Hide Yourself In Regret

Just Love Yourself And You're Set
I'm On The Right Track Baby,
I Was Born This Way.

Who am I to contradict? It works for her!! She's really out there. Well, so am I and ... I'll be back in February with lots of hearts afire! That's right, dolls, it's LOVE month! xxx

One last comment. There seems to be at least one very good reason to go to Hair at the Pantages through January 23rd: Steel Burkhardt as Berger. Like the entire cast, he is very revealing at the Act I finale: He set my heart aflutter as he rushed past my seat several times throughout the evening.

Am I becoming trashy? Ah well, a little spice is good for the complexion!
Hurrah! There's still fire in the old girl yet!

lol

Dona

Diva Dona Bio

2010-12-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

Dona Eduardo Gregorio was born in Brooklyn, New York to Madge McConnell and Donato Feliciano Gregorio in 1946. She claims to have burst into the world screaming "Brava, brava, brava!"

At least that's what her dear mother Madge told her at a tender age. Madge was known to throw back a few on a daily basis, so it's difficult to determine the accuracy of any of her statements.

(Dona at two months, already posing
and flaunting her special tude)

An only child - rare for an Italian family, but Donato left Madge after a year - Dona attended the High School of Performing Arts but dropped out in her senior year due to artistic differences. She claimed her teachers abused her; they responded that she just couldn't cut the mustard. "If only Madge had been a stage mama and stood up and fought for me, I might have been a star today." Rejected by every drama school on the Eastern seaboard, Dona fled to Italy where she spent 25 years as a student of Roberto Fussolini, who, she insists, taught her good breeding and the means to support herself as a singer, actress and writer. She was quoted, "These years are the highlight of my life, and Roberto is an angel". She married Fussolini in 1988, but divorced him after a short six months. Soon after, Fussolini was arrested for illegal prostitution (Yes, even abroad, you can go too far!) and Dona fled the country. She refuses to discuss her marriage to him. To one interviewer, she was heard to shriek "Que bruto! Ugly c- - - s- - - - - - pig!" Dona brought her ailing mother over to Italy and cared for her until her death in 1985. "If only mama had stayed off the sauce, she could have been something!"

(Mama in 1962 - in her prime!)

Back in New York, Dona persevered and her first tell-all book How I Learned to Survive My Brooklyn Neighborhood as an Underappreciated Child Prodigy was an instant bestseller in 1989. She topped that with her first film That Damned Homophobic Village in 1990, which earned her a Golden Globe for best screenplay and an Oscar nomination in the same category. In the 90s Dona wrote a column for the Village Voice on Broadway Celebrities and won a Peter Fuchs Award and garnered a Pulitzer nomination for her special at home, up close and personal interview with Patti LuPone - "A brilliant fellow diva, who has since won a second well deserved Tony Award for Gypsy." It is LuPone who christened her Diva Dona, as the two became bosom buddies. Dona yearns to play Vera to La LuPone's Mame, or is it the other way around?

A vibrant woman and superb writer, Diva Dona will begin a second column right here in January, 2011. She asks that you forget her contributions from May - August of 2010, as they were "totally beneath my talent and expertise. I was going through a rough time and friend Don Grigware offered me a chance to write for his website. I thought I really screwed up, but dear Don is giving me a second chance. Bless you, dear Don! You are number one and put the doll in dollcakes!"

"I am really looking forward to dishing in my new column. Love these new Hollywood celebs, but, watch out, if you do it, I'll report it! Dona's back in town!"

ps "I understand my pal Patti LuPone is possibly returning to Broadway in Hello Dolly. Great role for her; she was born to play Dolly Levi. Every diva should - even I have my claws...I mean feelers out!!!"

Avatar Freak

2010-12-15T07:39:00.000-08:00

Dona is an Avatar freak: this is what she'd look like in full makeup:

Last Week in HOLLYWOOD

2010-12-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

Dona Does Vegas

2010-12-14T16:43:00.000-08:00

Just in time for New Year's, dolls!

The Whole Wide World Loves Diva Dona

2010-12-14T12:00:00.001-08:00

Diva Dona Craves PR

2010-12-14T09:57:00.000-08:00

When Hugh called and asked me to do the cover, I immediately thought "Nude centerfold!" Surprise, surprise...Nope! Well, it's just as well; there's enough tragedy in the world without my exposure adding to it. Happy, merry and come back for my first new column right here in January 2011! Let's dish the biz!!!!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall!

2010-11-27T12:02:00.000-08:00

Who's the funniest diva of them all? DIVA DONA, that's who!
Have a merry, merry December, dolls!

Merry Christmas from Diva Dona

2010-11-20T23:47:00.000-08:00

Dona wishes everyone a "Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas! I'll be back in January 2011, dollcakes, with my brand new column."

Diva Dona WILL RETURN

2010-09-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Dona and I have patched things up and she will be here - with a brand new look - January 2011 - maybe sooner!

Dona Responds

2010-08-28T12:24:00.001-07:00

Well, Don, I never, EVER! I can't say a peep around here. Happy 1--th, so what? It was a joke, doll cakes! Fire Island, huh? Well, I'll take you up on it, my dear! And if I return - who knows, I just might find my niche there - we have a lot of reconciling to do if you expect me to pick up all the trash you've strewn around and write another column for you!
Hasta la vista, Donsie wansie!
Fire Island boytoys, hold on to your tushies, 'coz here comes Dona!

Dona to Fire Island

2010-08-28T12:08:00.001-07:00

I've had enough of your insolence and divaishness, Dona! You're nothing but a humongous Mammala! I've had one beautiful mother; I don't need another! Off to Fire Island with you for the month of September! All expenses paid, on me!! To the Pines? Hell, no! Cherry Grove is more your style. You'll slay those low-class bohemians!

Don's Birthday Bash @ McCormick & Shmick's

2010-08-27T23:52:00.001-07:00

Don let me wear his birthday streamers (right) after the party. Don't I look disgusting and cute?

Happy 1--th Birthday, Don Dahling and cheer up! Grab your cherries and lighten up! (top photo)

amore,

Dona

Pals help him pop those cherries!

Happy Birthday, Don!

2010-08-17T14:36:00.001-07:00

con amore,

dona

Diva Donna Not Diva Dona

2010-07-29T17:15:00.001-07:00

This is Diva Do-nn-a (Mills), not moi, Diva Do-n-a! Since we're both such raving beauties, people constantly mistake her for me and me for her. It goes without saying!

Ah, the price of glamour in Hollywood!

August Madness

2010-07-26T10:25:00.001-07:00

Where are the DIAMONDS? Yes, my darlings, DIAMONDS are a girls's best friend and there WERE DIAMONDS on this bracelet when Prince Charming gave it to me, -- friggin years ago when I played Cinderella in a bus and truck tour of the R&H wannabe opus. Now it's just a BAUBBLE!

Well, it's my friend Don G's birthday on the 17th ... what to get him? He hates jewelry, so that's out. Maybe, See's chocolates: no! he's started another diet... Let's see how long this one lasts! Ha! I know ... I'll call mutual friends -what friends, you query? - and throw him a surprise party...Oh, that's right...after his 40th surprise BDAY party, he told me if I ever threw him another surprise party with a room full of strangers and tired old queens, he'd kill me. OMG, I know the perfect gift...I'll fly him over to the West End to see some shows this fall...if he will get his ass on a plane...can't believe he's scared of flying... or crashing, whatever the case may be...He's one helluva guy, even if he is one helluva royal pain in the rear.

Have a great August, my dears, cherish every baubble that you have, and if you find my DIAMONDS, send them on FEDEX...I will roast the asshole alive that abducted them from me!

Happy, happy!!

ps And, oh, puleeze stop writing and telling me how much I look like Don G! He only wishes he had the fabulous skin tone that I have. I have the skin of an 18 year-old. Don't you dare tell me to give it back, because I'm wrinkling the bejesus out of it!!!

Bye-bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've told Don a Hundred Times...

2010-07-24T01:16:00.000-07:00

... To get out of the bushes and stop trying to do an impression of me! I know he needs a new 8 x 10, but this is ludicrous! No shrub enhances beauty, charm and grace - at least the natural kind to which I am accustomed.

Diva Dona and the Kiss of Peace

2010-07-12T09:42:00.001-07:00

Alan Cumming gave me the peace sign. He was actually saying "F- - - off!" to a barrage of autograph hounds and paparrazi. Well, can you blame him, my dahlings? I could get into celeb chasing pap stories that would curl your p - - - - hair! That's fodder for another time. See you in August with my monthly dish!

Enter July and Independance Merriment

2010-06-30T07:43:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, dear ones, I get so angry I could just spit. People do not listen to me!!!!!!!
My friends Karen and Gerry (below) just cannot hold their sangria. If I've told them once, I've told them a thousand times "Don't mix!" Well, my dahlings, at the Tony party, they translated mix as nix and did they paint the town! Here's what they looked like after everyone else went home. Don photographed them before he left. He and I know when to stop. I'm foregoing my ususal column this month for a few words of advice. Take it from Diva Dona:there are these infamous 4th of July barbeques coming up, so be safe not sorry. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE!

PS:

I didn't say stop partying altogether. Don't be a bore, just let your boring acquaintances drive you home!

Zandra, Her Classic Look

2010-06-25T22:35:00.001-07:00

Girlfriend Zandra in her beauty pageant pose,
or is that her early Streisand/Egyptian look?

Diva Dona on Tony Night

2010-06-14T00:39:00.000-07:00

Tony Award night - party, party! My friend Don took me to a party where I got a little wild. Did I dye the hair too purple!!?? Loved Sean Hayes in his takeoffs as Annie and Spidey. That kiss with Kristen Chenoweth should dispel any rude comments that a gay actor cannot play straight! HA!!! He played a pretty mean piano too, that cutie pie!!!! And that basket he's carrying (pictured above) - WOOF, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I found you ... !!!!!!!!!

See you in July, my dears!

Katharine, dahling, Katie, Katie!! It's Katie Hepburn!

2010-06-08T12:56:00.001-07:00

Who said that Katie Hepburn left us? They lied! She's here! My pal Don was photographed with her! I adore her and always follow her advice, my dears, about listening to the song of life! Don't miss her at the MACHA Theatre on Kings Road in WeHo through June 18 (selected dates - read Don's review!) and then she comes to NoHo for 2 shows only on the 19th and 20th at the Mayflower Club.

tadaaaaa!!!

OMG, it's June First!

2010-05-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm really a shy girl at heart!

My gal pal Zandra - what a doll and senior knockout!!!

I can't believe it. Don Grigware called last night to remind me that it's time for me to submit my first column on the BIZ, as I see it. What's happenin' around town and how I feel about it. Well, the theatre is really hurting in these sad economic times of ours. I go see waiver plays with my friend Don and I'm shocked to find only 10 people in the audience. You mean, the actors actually go on and do a show for 10 bodies, you may ask? Yes, they do, because they care about their craft and are there to entertain 100 or 50 or even 2 people. It takes a lotta love to be an actor, let me tell you.
Well, that aside, did you know that Rip Taylor is doing a one-man show about himself and his career? Did you read Don's review? Well, let me tell you, this man made us laugh until we practically shi- ... well, you know how the body reacts when you overdo it. And Rip always makes us laugh until we pe-... oh, shi- I can't use four letter words here. Anyway, he makes you cry this time around as well as laugh. Yes, I never knew how sad his life was particularly growing up in all those foster homes. He was taken advantage of by men - ohmygod, he was a mere child when he first - he--! And those backstage thank yous from all those strippers. Whoa, I wonder what turned him gay when I heard that!
Anyway, my dears, you must go lickety split before Rip departs the El Portal in NoHo
his show is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out the middle photo with my pal Zandra. Isn't she a looker? Dahlings, she dresses better than any 30 year-old chic I know. How would I know any women, you ask? Believe me, I've been around the block more than once. Sandra has my vote for

Miss Senior America 2010!
Do you believe that bottom photo with Mary Wilson and Don? She sure as hel- gets ticked off when you mention the name Diana Ross around her - he didn't mean to upset her! Anyway, she was dynomite in the closing of the Palm Springs Follies. As you can plainly see, she still has all the right stuff in place ... to s----

well, you know what I mean!
Bye for now!! See you in July - oh no, the heat, the bugs - they're coming: yukkiepoos!!!

Take refuge in an air-conditioned theatre!!!

Ciao to all my fans!

2010-04-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

Don Grigware has invited me to do a monthly column here. I'm so excited, I'm practically speechless, if you can believe that, mi bambinos! I've been accused of having the longest case in medical history of diah...of the m....
Anyway, it's been a long time, but I've returned and expect some juicy tidbits to surface here about celebs in TV, film - and of course, the theatre: here, there and everywhere.
Hasta la pasta!
See you for my first official column in June! Trala, it's May, the lusty month of May...love that ditty!!!!

ps Like my Elphaba from Halloween 2009? Might be greener, you query?